Category: Words to live by

I’m a huge fan of Million Dollar Listing New York. I barely watch tv outside of sports, but I’ve seen all 8 seasons of this one and all 17 of Project Runway. What those shows have in common is the importance of problem solving and working within a limited window of opportunity. There is only so much you can say to make that construction next door a positive when selling an apartment. Have to make a dress with what you find in a floral store? No sweat.

However, this season of MDLNY is full of sturm und drang because the market for million dollar listings is in the toilet. The brokers the season follows, Fredrick, Ryan, Steve, and Luis, now have to really struggle for every sale. For a group of Type A high achievers, this is a daily struggle against the expectations they set for themselves.

I like them all personally, which is probably why I enjoy the show so much. I read Fredrick’s book, I downloaded Ryan’s, and I have a strong fondness for the searching that Luis allows himself. They feel real to me.

In this season, it’s Ryan who has a really tough go of it, and his wife, Emilia, has to calm him down.

Emilia: All of this doesn’t matter that much. You have to calm down.

Ryan: Every day. Every day. On the fifteen minute mark, I get yelled at because the market is crashing. It’s my fault. I can’t control the market. I can’t control what things are selling for. The things that people say to me are so fscked up. All I want to do is do good work. Do good work.

Emilia: You just said you can’t change the market. You can’t freak out about something you can’t change.

Ryan: It’s just tough right now.

Emilia: It’s always going to be tough. You put so much pressure on yourself. You’re going to have a heart attack. You’re so young. Is this how your dad was? (Ryan nods) Children learn from their parents. This is your safe zone. You should be laughing. Otherwise, when does this end?

She’s right. There is only so much you can do, and it’s not worth destroying the peace of home to make right what is essentially out of your control.

In the end, all of this doesn’t matter all that much.

I left work early today to pick up a job and a few things for an upcoming event. As I was coming out of the first stop with purchase in hand, a guy pulled in and said, “Hey, you passed me on the highway.”

Despite having a 225 hp turbo under the hood, I drive like a much older person driving a much lesser car. Really. So, I knew I wasn’t a jerk to him.

He continued, “What year is that car?” When I told him, he just stared at it. “I was going to buy one of those, but I got into an argument with the dealer over cruise control. I bought a Civic instead.” He was driving a Honda but not a Civic.

“It’s my favorite car I’ve ever owned,” I noted.

“Yeah, I bet if I bought that, I would still own it too. Have a good day.”

Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. Don’t let a petty argument get in the way of a great ride.

My mom lost her favorite cousin Gary last month. He was 69 and died of a stroke suffered after the removal of a brain tumor.

Gary was the son of Paul “Rusty” Rostock, my mom’s uncle and oldest child of Elizabeth and Paul Rostock.  Rusty was an entrepreneur and a very formal gentleman who was married his entire life to his college sweetheart. Gary was gregarious, informal, and very laid back.  I have to think Rusty saw his oldest son as hatched from an entirely different egg.

Married three times, Gary could exhaust someone who operated on a strict schedule. His third wife would channel his talents when she put him to work as a sales person in her appliance store.  He had recently retired from the business when he passed away.

When I lived in Boise, ID briefly after graduate school, my mom and I spent a day with Gary that would become my favorite memory. He was selling insurance at the time and had to visit a vacation home in McCall to assess its insurance risk. We drove the hour north to a lovely A-frame home with a spacious deck, which stopped about twenty feet from the edge of a meandering creek. After walking around the house, Gary announced he was tired and was going to take a nap in the loft before we departed. To be clear, this wasn’t a friend’s house. It was a potential client’s house. However, the mood struck him, and he wanted to nap to the sound of the water. And so he did. It was the kind of informal, off the cuff decision that I think of when I think of him.

As a person, I’m more like Rusty, who was one of my very favorite relatives and a great mentor and friend. I’m more structured and tend not to make snap decisions. Despite my best efforts, I am not laid back. I have an admiration for those who take life at a more relaxed pace though. There are different paths, and different speeds, for all.

Rest in peace, Gary.